Jason had done the rehab thing. 4 times in two years, and just over R200 000 later. Each time he came out full of hope and promises. Each time within weeks of coming home he was using again.
I had given up on our marriage, given up on him. It was as if no-one could help him. I had called an attorney to start divorce proceedings, and being a family friend, he told me to give it one more try. “Have you tried everything, I mean everything, to save your marriage?” he asked me. I said yes, for sure, of course. He slid a card over the desk. “You are not alone. Go check out these guys. They helped me. Maybe they can help you. If they can’t, I’ll set up the papers immediately…”
I left his office a bit confused. I got home and called the number on the card anyway - I had nothing to lose. A friendly voice answered and I once again poured my heart out to this stranger about Jason’s addiction.
Later that afternoon I sat in a coffee shop with Quintin from ADA. He explained addiction to me in a way that I had never thought of. He explained the Clear Option treatment program to me, and also why rehab would not work for Jason. The program worked completely differently to anything I had ever heard, but it actually made sense! Their holistic approach was what made me sit up and listen. I realized that I had much to learn and change about myself , before I could deal with my husband’s addiction.
I called Jason and told him about my meeting, and begged him just to talk to Quintin, which, after three days, he finally did.
He came home after the meeting, and looked at me with the eyes of the Jason I had met 18 years ago. “I’m trying this,” he said, “but I’m not promising anything.”
That was just over a year ago. Today, I have my “old” Jason back. It was not easy. The program lasts 4 months, and they were the hardest 4 months of our lives.
I had to deal with the trauma of what Jason’s addiction had done to our family, to see the addiction as a condition, and also how to really support him through his recovery.
Jason learnt to live life on life’s terms. No more excuses. He had a therapist and a recovery coach. Between Jason, the team and me, his addiction had nowhere to hide. Yes, we still have arguments (which couple doesn’t?), but now they are about real issues, not made up ones just so he can leave the house to use. It’s been a struggle, but we are getting there, and I know we will make it, because now there is just me and Jason, and not his other wife - his addiction!
Without the Clear Option, I would have no other option, thank you guys so much!
*Jane asked that in order to protect their privacy, that her and her husband’s identity be changed.
For more information about the Clear Option, call 011 402 2678
